Monday, April 4, 2011

Why Rain? ( NaPoWriMO #4 / Magpie)

image from designzzz.com

Challenge:seven words that have the same vowel sounds (rain,pane,plain,disdain,constrain,germane,restrain,attain)
and use them in a repetitive way throughout a poem.

Standing sadly in my room
Looking out the pane
I watch the weather oh so close
Try to find restrain

For on the window you will see
The subject of my disdain
Tiny droplets are beading up
Mother Nature’s gift is rain

It’s not as though I hate it
In fact you’ll find it’s plain
There’s beauty in the sprinkling
I know that it’s germane

Yet on this special day you see
I was hoping for constrain
Maybe on my wedding day
A rainbow we’ll attain

© Lisa N ~ 4/4/2011



13 comments:

  1. I was hoping for constrain

    This is an uncomfortable line, as the word here should be 'constraint' so the 'constrain' rhyme feels forced.

    Perhaps try

    'I'd hoped it might constrain
    its drops until my wedding day.
    Maybe a rainbow we'd attain'

    Then "it" is referring to the rain...

    But the reverse order of the words in my last line option is also uncomfortable... perhaps this will set you thinking...

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  2. I do see a Rainbow.. indeed!
    It set me thinking.. well written Lisa..

    All the best.. :)
    Hugs xx

    It’s pouring

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  3. you have given yourself a challenge!

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  4. Well done! That was quite a challenge!

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  5. Difficult challenge and you pulled it off! Well done.

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  6. surely there's seldom a rainbow without rain. Nicely done!

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