Friday, March 11, 2011

Ugly & Beauty

When I think of ugly today what comes to my mind is not physical appearance that is deemed unattractive but rather behavior.  Those moments when you think that someone that you have a generally strong relationship chooses to behave in a seemingly unnecessary and hurtful manner, it is then that I find that to be “ugly”.  The utter shock and disappointment followed by the sense of betrayal send cold prickly feelings up and down your spine

The initial and most likely human response is hurt followed by anger.  What seems logical is to assume the victim mentality and begin arming yourself to fight back or at a minimum plan your retaliation.  It is at this crucial crossroad that you find yourself hovering at the edge of a precipice that defines you and your tolerance.

Posted at

© Lisa N ~ 3/11/2011
Can you step back and look at the behavior in calm and rational manner?  It is possible to spin the situation in a direction that would allow for belief that potentially what appeared as “ugly” may indeed be the actions of a true friend who is putting themselves on the line to provide you with “constructive criticism”.  What seems unseemly in the current light may be a rough and unpolished nugget that when handled properly may turn out to be a beautiful and worthy gem.


  1. Well said and such good "food" for thought. It is all about perspective isn't it? We're so quick to see the "ugly".

    Thanks for stopping my blog earlier. Nice to meet you!

  2. It's hard to step back-but it is good to do so. We never really know where a person is coming from-what their intent is, or the possible good in a situation unless we allow ourselves to try to see it.
    This was a really thoughtful post-great job!

  3. To be able to actually step back inside the moment of the sting is TRUE beauty. Grace of spirit.
    Wonderful insight!!

  4. Perspective is always a good thing to have. This post is a great reminder to try to take a breather before throwing up our defenses when we feel attacked.

  5. I also chose to identify this with a behavior of sorts, and yes while one person's actions are a starting point our reaction can determind the ultimate outcome.
    Stopping by from TRDC.
    (also, just a note: some of the fonts on your site are very tiny and hard to read)

  6. Thanks Mommylebron on the font point. I'll work on making them larger.

  7. It does really get you thinking. Sometimes I get caught up in my emotions and I don't see that people are trying to help me until I've already had a negative reaction. I think this is where that whole idea of "wait and count to ten" would work, except I never remember to do that. Something to work towards :)

  8. Stopping by from Red Writing Hood and became an official follower. It's funny, as soon as I read the prompt, I immediately thought of it physically but you are so right, behavior can be ugly and beautiful just as much too.

  9. Oh I really like this. Our perceptions of an action play such a strong role in how the memory of said action is formed.

    Great, thought-provoking take on the prompt.

  10. It is so hard to step out of the 'feelings' and into the 'logic' of a situation. Excellent analysis.