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Challenge:seven words that have the same vowel sounds (rain,pane,plain,disdain,constrain,germane,restrain,attain)
Challenge:seven words that have the same vowel sounds (rain,pane,plain,disdain,constrain,germane,restrain,attain)
and use them in a repetitive way throughout a poem.
Standing sadly in my room
Looking out the pane
I watch the weather oh so close
Try to find restrain
For on the window you will see
The subject of my disdain
Tiny droplets are beading up
Mother Nature’s gift is rain
It’s not as though I hate it
In fact you’ll find it’s plain
There’s beauty in the sprinkling
I know that it’s germane
Yet on this special day you see
I was hoping for constrain
Maybe on my wedding day
A rainbow we’ll attain
posted at http://www.napowrimo.net/
© Lisa N ~ 4/4/2011
I was hoping for constrain
ReplyDeleteThis is an uncomfortable line, as the word here should be 'constraint' so the 'constrain' rhyme feels forced.
Perhaps try
'I'd hoped it might constrain
its drops until my wedding day.
Maybe a rainbow we'd attain'
Then "it" is referring to the rain...
But the reverse order of the words in my last line option is also uncomfortable... perhaps this will set you thinking...
I do see a Rainbow.. indeed!
ReplyDeleteIt set me thinking.. well written Lisa..
All the best.. :)
Hugs xx
It’s pouring
This reads so well. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteyou have given yourself a challenge!
ReplyDeleteWell done! That was quite a challenge!
ReplyDeleteDifficult challenge and you pulled it off! Well done.
ReplyDeletesurely there's seldom a rainbow without rain. Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteYou did well with it!
ReplyDeletemisty dew
Very charming.
ReplyDeleteSolid, rhyming work.
ReplyDeleteExcellent piece.
ReplyDeleteA hard task nobly undertaken!
ReplyDeletecool.
ReplyDelete